Remember back in January when I was so "eggcited" to have ovulated for the first time in who-knows-how-long? AND THEN, to find out I was pregnant blew my mind! But it wasn't long at all before I started worrying that something would go awry and my little miracle egg would "hatch" too soon...
I have tried to stay calm and positive. For the most part, I've done a good job. Having a rather uneventful pregnancy has helped immensely, and for that I am sooo grateful! I get that I am beyond lucky for how smoothly things have gone...I know there are many who, after the stress of IF, have to face extremely stressful (sometimes terrifying) pregnancies...some that have happy endings and others that only end in more heartbreak. With each passing week it seems I have more and more reason to believe that everything will turn out just fine and I have no need to stress.
In the past two weeks though I have had a few brief moments of ill-founded panic...that we are so close to term, but darn it baby, don't get any crazy ideas! I am sure that there is some naïve, first-time mom stuff at play and my worry is unwarranted...but you know when you just get a feeling that something isn't right?
So, I've had Braxton Hicks contractions daily since early in the second trimester. Early on I would say I got about a dozen each day. Though my doctor said it was completely normal and okay as long as I wasn't having too many (4 every hour), they didn't hurt, and they weren't accompanied by bleeding/fluid, I was still a little unnerved that I was getting them so much earlier than what everything I was reading said.
Over the course of the pregnancy the intensity and frequency of the contractions has been building. Still not to the "too many" or painful level, but I would say I have at least one an hour and they last any where from 2 to 5 minutes a piece. Before they were pretty localized; now they seem to start out in one or two places but spread to most areas of my uterus. I have spoken with my doctor about them at every check-up and am always told not too worry, to call if I have 4 an hour "consistently", to lie down on my side, rest, hydrate, etc.
Anyhow, 2 weeks ago I witnessed my grandma fall and break her femur. It was scary seeing her on the ground in the state she was in and not knowing what exactly was wrong. I think the stress of the situation took its toll and I hit the "4 an hour" contraction mark. I rested and drank my water and tried to take it easy the rest of the day. I had lots of contractions that day...but only had the one hour with 4. Then again this past weekend...not sure what might have triggered it...but I had another hour with 4.
Now I know I am not in labor...but my concerns are: 1.) Are these contractions a sign that my body is getting ready to go into labor sooner than 4-6 weeks from now? 2.) Why are they so much longer and more frequent that what is written in all the books? Could they be stressing out my baby?, and 3.) If I am having this many now...what happens when I go back to work next week?
I had another appointment today and voiced my concerns. I was told basically all the same things as before, so I am thinking I need to just chill...but I can't shake the feeling that this baby might come sooner than we are expecting. (Now, just because I said that, watch this naïve first-timer be begging her little one to GET OUT at 41 weeks or something). BTW, baby's heart rate (140), my blood pressure (118/70), and fundal measurement (34cm) were all great & right on track. Weight gain is 28 pounds, and I think that is good too...nobody at the doctor's office has said anything about it anyway.
I am 34 weeks tomorrow, so I know I am at a point where Ziggy would probably be okay...but each day and week he can stay put, so much the better! At my next appointment they will start checking my cervix and I think knowing what's going on there will help. I just really want a healthy baby and want to do everything in my power to make that happen! So baby, do mommy a favor...no surprises please!
Alright, enough with my most recent anxieties...here is a random list of things that have been going on since I last updated:
*I had my baby shower (on the same day that my grandma fell). Lots of wonderful people came and brought me lots of wonderful things. But it was also kind of weird because the whole day was weird with grandma being in the hospital and all.
*JT and I went to an all-day birthing class. We had to go with the all-day option since JT is only home on weekends. And no, we didn't have to sit on the floor and practice breathing techniques. I am glad we went, but feel like I knew most of what they told us because I have been reading books. I was glad for JT to hear it all though and it got me more excited for the "birth day." Again, some naivety here...but is it weird that I am excited about labor/delivery? There are some horrible, gruesome tales out there about during and after labor...but I'm not scared...I am just curious. And sooo excited to experience it and meet our little man!
*Side story about the class: The instructor asked the men right at the beginning "What has been the best thing about your woman being pregnant?" (She kept saying that throughout the class..."your woman"...I didn't really dig it). One guy said, "mood swings." Not a great start. He thought she had said "worst thing" and then tried to redeem himself quickly with some other comment that was not much better. Another guy said, "Just the fact that it finally happened because we've been trying so long." I wanted to hug that couple and scream "YAY!!" The other four men in the room (my husband included) said NOTHING! What?! It was a Ferris Buehler moment...you could almost hear crickets chirping as the instructor pleaded, "You can't think of one wonderful thing? Anyone? One thing? Let me help you: try...she's growing my baby, she's beautiful, she's glowing, she's wonderful...anything! Anyone?" I can think of a million wonderful things about being pregnant: the heartbeat, the ultrasounds, the kicks and squirms, preparing the nursery, daydreaming about the future, smiles from strangers, belly rubs and kisses from JT, the list goes on! So, during the lunch break I had to give JT a hard time and ask why he didn't say anything and could he really not come up with one thing or did he just not feel like talking? His response, "I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about your boobs."
*School starts next week. Teachers have meetings all day on Tuesday and back-to-school night that evening. Kids come on Wednesday. I have been spending lots of time at school. I guess I am ready-ish...but I really don't want to go back. Seriously lacking motivation. Lacking so much motivation I don't even want to talk it about it right now. So I won't.
*I've been trying to find child care for when I return to work in January. It's hard, man! Maybe I'll do a post on that later. The good news is that I think I finally found some decent options.
Alright, that's all I've got for now. 'Til next time...
Good to hear from you! Hopefully the contractions are just your body preparing a little early - but that definitely would make me nervous too. I hope your little guy stays right where he is for a few more weeks. Good luck with school next week!
ReplyDelete