Seriously. I think I want to barf.
I have a lot going on in the next...um...while, so I decided to plot it all out on a dry erase calendar that I haven't used since college. Side note: I NEED to get a real calendar this year...I am getting too old and/or too pregnant to try to keep all this info in my head and on random sticky notes. Another side note: I found a little desk-top calendar for work last year that went from August-July. That's what I want! Not the January to December kind...my new year always starts in August/September.
Annnnyway....I plotted out all the appointments and commitments on the calendar and guess what?? School starts in 4 weeks.
I want to barf.
"Back to School" is everywhere you look! All the teacher bloggers are going nuts with back to school ideas and normally I think it would kind of get me excited. I would be all over their blogs getting inspired (and maybe jealous) and ooohing and aaahing and making lists. Normally I like getting ready for a new school year...I like thinking of new ideas to try and organizing and decorating the classroom. I get excited about possibilities and a fresh start. It's one of the things I love most about being a teacher. There is always an end and a beginning...always a chance to try again.
But this year, I want to barf.
I am 0% excited about going back. I know, I know. The good news is that I don't have to be there for long. But that's part of why it is so unappealing. I get to go back for the hard part. September, no matter how sweet your class is...no matter how pregnant or not pregnant you are, kicks every teacher's butt (I think). At least, it kicks mine every single year.
Pregnancy aside, I know from my past experience that I am going to be completely spent in the evenings and on weekends for all of September. So I kind of feel like the beginning of school is my deadline for being ready for baby. I don't want to have to do anything when I come home from work. I thought 9.5 weeks sounded like not too far away...but 4!?!?!?!? Oh.my.goodness.
My anxiety shot through the roof today when we were plotting things out on the calendar.
When I stop and think about it though, we are ready. Ready enough anyway. Why does a baby need a completely organized storage room and perfectly groomed yard? I think I have a little touch of crazy interfering with my perspective.
So.
I just need to breathe.
And tell that crazy to hush up a bit.
And not barf.
Awww, it understand your feelings. 4 years ago I went back to school in late August with a baby due first week of Oct. I left a week before my due date, and then had plenty of time to organize, clean, shop, and most importantly sleep before she came. Deep breaths and take it one day at a time! Xo
ReplyDeleteThank you...working on taking it one day at a time!
DeleteOh no, not the calendar! Yup, September kicks my butt every year too, and August becomes this big countdown. I was ok until I realized it was 4 weeks, too, and then there's the laughable thing that August is still vacation. Maybe the first part, but there's all the getting ready! I've been in my classroom twice now for half and full days because with transfer the last week of August and some other stuff going on the week before, I have to be pretty much done with everything by next week. ACK! I can't imagine adding the stress of "I will be going out on maternity leave shortly and feeling pretty durn uncomfortable" to the list. You can do this thing! You can rock out September and keep that carrot in front of you that soon, so soon, you will be home with your prize, your beautiful baby boy. Breathe, you can do it! I bet you are more ready than you think on both counts, school and baby. :)
ReplyDeleteI went in this week too after writing this post...just a couple times and not for very long. Getting back in there and just doing it feels so much better than sitting around and thinking about it. I am not trying to shake things up at all this year, so hopefully I can get through this gearing up phase faster than I usually do. So when exactly do you start? We go back right after labor day...but like you said, August is never entirely vacation.
DeleteWe start September 2nd, so probably same day as you! The second is staff only, then the 3rd is the first full day but there's an assembly so there's shortened periods. I agree, it's totally better to just go in and get stuff done rather than sitting and worrying, but I found that once I was in there my to-do list just kept expanding!!! I feel like you could seriously just live in your classroom and never get done all the things that you could get done. How long are you able to take for maternity leave once you're out?
DeleteYep, that's exactly the same as us. First day with just staff, second day the kiddoes come. We also have back-to-school night on Tuesday. I know what you mean about the growing to-do list...and that is normally what happens to me too. I typically spend all of August in there, but I am going to try to curb it this year and only do essential things & no new projects. We have to use sick days, but can get 6 weeks paid leave for vaginal delivery and 8 weeks paid for cesarean. I am going to tack on my personal leave and take some time unpaid in order to take off through Christmas Break.
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