Lighten Up!

So, I think it's time to lighten up around here...and since I am having trouble thinking of some clever way to begin this post, I am just going to make a list:

 

1. Lighten up with this art project.  Simple. Fun. Cute. Bright.  The kids adore it!

 

All you need is some tempera paint, black markers, and construction paper (I cut red, green, and white paper into squares).  The kids draw 2-3 lines on their papers...loopy, straight, zig-zag, whatever...with the black marker.  Seems simple enough, but it can be harder than you might think.  I make sure to tell the kids that the lines should start on one side of the paper and go off another side.  It's not a bad idea to have the kids do some practice lines on small dry-erase boards because they are apt to draw about a ba-jillion eensy weensy itty bitty loops.  And then they can't get the lights to go around them.  And then there might be tears.

 

Anyway, they draw the lines and then they dip one finger in each color they want to use (the example shows 5 colors, but I've had kids choose to use 2, 3, or 4 colors and they turn out good too).  Then they just make fingerprints for the bulbs and re-dip as needed.  It's that simple.  And like I said, the kids adore this project.  

 

My teaching partner, Veronica, did it on black paper and used glue/glitter for the cords and they came out super cute!  The colors really pop.  Very festive.  Sorta jealous.

 

Anyway, here's a bulletin board with all the kids' work...looks better in person, I think.

2. Apparently I need to lighten up: literally.  I made a joke about gaining 5 lbs over Thanksgiving break and maybe you laughed and that's okay.  Because I can joke about myself gaining weight.  My custodian, however, should not be afforded the same luxury. Here's the conversation:

Custodian (female, incase you were wondering): You gain weight over Thanksgiving?
Me: Ummmm....did I gain weight over Thanksgiving?
Custodian: Yeah, you gain weight?  You look like you gain weight over Thanksgiving.
Me: Ummmm...

I blame these birds:

 

And these birds:

 

Yes, there were TWO turkeys at Thanksgiving, and yes, I maybe sprouted a third angry ovary.

3.  You know who else needs to lighten up?  My local Albertsons.  I have bought all my pregnancy tests there because I could use self check-out and never have to have any awkward conversations with quasi-strangers. 

When I called my doctor's office the other day to ask about my 18 day cycle the lady asked, "Did you take a pregnancy test?"  Um, no, I did not...the thought did not even cross my mind.  "You need to take a pregnancy test and call back tomorrow."  Okay.

I think the doctor's office and the people who make these pee sticks are in cahoots...of course I was going to buy the darn thing even though I KNEW it would be a BFN...doctor's orders, right?

So, I went to Albertsons and low and behold they now have all "family planning items" LOCKED up by the pharmacy! And I went late at night, so the pharmacy was closed and I didn't really feel like asking the checker...I mean, that's the whole reason I went to Albertsons in the first place.  Are people seriously stealing this stuff????  I guess I believe it...it's embarrassing to buy and the prices are a racket: pretty sure the technology isn't that sophisticated.

I left the store in a huff:  already mad that I had to buy a test that I knew was going to fail and then the whole locked-up business...ERR!

The DH...feeling sorry for me or something ...was sweet enough to go into a gas station and buy me a test.  

I love that man, but he came out with two ovulation predictor kits.  He swore it was all they had and I would just have to use it instead, to which I became aggravated because, a.) it doesn't work like that, and b.) this was becoming a ridiculous late-night hassle.  

Finally, we ended up both going into Safeway (where I do most of my shopping) and had to buy the darn thing from a checker I see ALL THE TIME.  Ugg.

So, lighten up Albertsons...you might have had some trouble with family-planning thieves, but now you're loosing customers.

Hmmm, not sure I succeeded with a brighter, lighter post...