Cyster! Cyster!

Remember that show? Anyone?  Sistah! Sistaaaah! *cue theme song* and Tia and Tamara Lowry rocking 90s garb.

I liked that show. 

But not as much as I liked Full House. 

Oh, did I have a crush on Uncle Jesse!!  And DJ's boyfriend, Steve.  He looked just like my Totally Hair Ken doll (who also sported some banging 90s neon)!  My sisters and I always fought over who got to play him because he had real hair and not the painted on stuff like the other Kens.  I normally won though because I was the one who purchased him with my allowance.  In fact, I probably purchased 80-90% of the Barbie dolls we played with.  I was a little obsessed with Barbies.

*Maybe that's why you have a poor self-image.*

Hey! Who said that?? How rude!!

BTW, I loved Full House, but Stephanie kind of annoyed me when she was older. She was my favorite when she was little (with curly hair), but then I don't know what happened.  Oh, and how did she go from such curly hair to about as stick-straight as it gets?  Were there flat irons in the 90s?  I never learned about them until, like, 4 years ago.  Don't laugh.  So I'm a little behind on the trends...

Sorry, I've digressed....a lot.

I was going to write a posts about cysts.  Namely, ovarian ones that are likely the culprit of many pain spells over the last 10 years.  My general practitioner has heard me bring up the pelvic pain over and over again and told me it was IBS and I told him, "No, it's not."  I did have one meeting with "the wand" YEARS ago and nothing turned up. Problem was, that appointment was not scheduled in coordination with the pain at all.  And the pain has always been very sporadic.  I might go up to 6 months with no pain at all and then, wham!  I have it daily for days or weeks on end. 

I also had trips to digestive disease specialists and for awhile I kept a journal about the pain... where I felt it, what it felt like, how long it persisted, what I'd eaten, where I was in my cycle.  All to no avail.  Finally my GP just said I had "abdominal migraines" and I thought "okay, so that's it then" and I'd take Ibuprofen or Advil Migraine whenever the pain was too intense.  For years I've thought I had abdominal migraines.

Well, yesterday, my appointment with "the wand" did reveal a rather large cyst on my left ovary that I was told appeared to be draining.  The physician's assistant told me it had likely been bigger when I was experiencing the pain and probably popped and is slowly draining/dissolving. 

Oh, and you heard me right: I met with a PA afterward, not an OB.  I knew my doctor was out of the office, but I assumed my follow up would be with another doctor.  No offense to any PAs.  Err...FRUSTRATION!!

The PA was a nice enough lady, but couldn't really field all the questions I came into the appointment planning to ask.  It seemed like she was just there to relay the results of the ultrasound and didn't seem to want to get into much else.

She told me that Clomid can trigger cyst production because it overstimulates the ovaries.  I told her about my history of this kind of pain and she agreed with my hunch that this has been going on a long time...as in before Clomid. 

Before BC, during BC, after BC, with Clomid: seems like I can make cysts under a variety of circumstances.  I am a cyster.  

Now, she didn't mention PCOS...but that's where my head went.  I've read about it, but need to refresh.    

I'm actually doing pretty okay after the whole ordeal.  It's not great news, but it's news!  I think I would feel more frustrated if they had told me, "Everything is beautiful...no idea what kind of pain you're talking about!"

One other perk of the appointment is I got some clarification on my husband's SA.  They had told me over the phone that they wanted us to get another analysis because of his morphology.  I asked the PA at my follow-up if I could see the report.  I wanted numbers. 

She  pulled up the report up on the computer and we looked through it line by line.  Everything was great or average, except the morphology.  It was about 1% lower than what I've read is typical.  And there are a variety of things that could have affected that sample that day.  Now, I know 1% can be substantial in some situations, but I'm not sure we should rush out and spend another $150 on an SA when OBVIOUSLY there is an issue with me.  I mean, maybe we should get an egg first before we start worrying that one of his millions of sperm won't make it to the promise land.

ANYWAY, that's what's up.  I'm a cyster.  Any cyster sisters out there who can shed some light on what this means for me...in our quest for a baby and life beyond that?

Oh, and speaking of sisters.  My sister-in-law just had a beautiful baby girl yesterday.  My husband and I went to see her, my brother, and our new niece after my appointments.  However, my niece deserves more than a casual mention at the end of a post about ovarian cysts (and 90s sitcoms and Barbie dolls).  So, more to come on that later.

Until then, peace out sistahs!