(Bitter)sweet 16!

It has been an emotional week.  At first it was just pregnancy hormones...crying-over-spilt-milk-kind-of-stuff. For example, I was killing two birds with one stone one night...brushing my teeth and peeing at the same time.  Meanwhile, my husband was also brushing his teeth or washing his hands or something (we only have the one bathroom right now).  When he finished up he decided to splash cold water in my face (because apparently he never got the 5th grade memo that you don't have to bug the girl you like to get her attention).  Anyway, I got grumpy, obviously.  He thought that was funny... my grumpy, pouting face and inability to retaliate because I was sitting on the toilet, pants around ankles.  AND I couldn't yell at him either because of the toothbrush in my mouth.  So he starts laughing and I make an even grumpier face which causes toothpaste to ooze out of my mouth.  So he laughs harder.   Then I start laughing which makes me choke on toothpaste.  So he laughs even harder.  Which of course makes me cry.  And then I get really hysterical...sputtering toothpaste, crying, laughing?, choking...all the while resentment rising because he just can't stop laughing and grab me a frickin' trash can to spit in.  I was a basket case the rest of the night... 

So, those were the emotions one might expect with pregnancy, but Monday it got real...as evidenced here.  And the remainder of the week followed suit.  It was tough trying to act normal enough to make it through each day at work and also be sensitive to the way the kids and everyone else (self included) in the building was feeling. 

Actually the kids seemed "okay-ish" because I think many of them don't really comprehend entirely what happened.  But they are dealing with it in their own way...they've been highly distractible and irritable since they found out.  And it is hard to figure out how to leave room for that kind of behavior when it is not typically tolerated.  I mean, it still wasn't really tolerated, but it had to be dealt with differently.

It's just been weird.

"Weird" is the best way for me to describe the week.  Weird because I want/need to grieve but haven't really found the time or space to.  Weird because I wanted nothing to do with work.  Weird because I had to be there.  Weird because surrounded by the weight of death, I feel this bizarre juxtaposition of life....which I am sooo grateful for!! 

But it's weird.  

So, that's why this is (bitter)sweet 16.  I am now 16 weeks 1 day pregnant and I thrilled to be able to experience each day of this pregnancy.  Some highlights of the week were hearing the heartbeat (136, mind you), having more people notice/comment on my protruding belly, and having one friend mention how she could "see those hooters coming a mile away!"  (I am really digging the bigger boobs).

And that's about as good of an ending as I can think of.