In my last post I mentioned watching a bunch of Brene Brown youtube videos. Below is one that I think we all can relate to. Fertility issues aside. Life's highs and lows are part of the human experience. I'm guessing we've all had those moments when we are down in the dumps and some well-meaning person says something asinine. And hopefully, we've all been able to experience compassion and empathy when we are down...when someone just meets us where we are and says, "Hey, let me pull up a chair and I'll sit in this $*#! with you."
And if we are perfectly honest with ourselves, we've been on the other side. Someone we know is down and we have an opportunity to react. What do you do? Do you sit in the $*#! or say something asinine? I know, neither is easy or fun but...
I say be the bear. Have a look:
And if we are perfectly honest with ourselves, we've been on the other side. Someone we know is down and we have an opportunity to react. What do you do? Do you sit in the $*#! or say something asinine? I know, neither is easy or fun but...
I say be the bear. Have a look:
Lucky for me, I have a lot of bears in my corner. If you are here, reading this, you are likely one of them.
Of course, I've encountered the deers too who say things like, "Good thing you're only 28, you have lots of time," or "At least you get to sleep through the night," or "I wish it would have taken us longer to get pregnant...you should just have fun trying!" or "Are you putting a pillow under your hips? That'll do the trick!"
It stings when I hear stuff like that, but I don't blame people. I know I've been a deer too...deer in the headlights, really. When someone drops something heavy on you it can take you by surprise. Sometimes trying to provide a positive spin in that situation seems like the helpful thing to do, but trust me...my self-talk can come up with all the "At leasts..." in the world.
Ever heard the saying, "the best thing I can do for my friend is be his friend," or something like that? Well, I get it. Now more than ever. And I just want to say thank you to all my friends who have just been my friends...it really means more than you know!
Of course, I've encountered the deers too who say things like, "Good thing you're only 28, you have lots of time," or "At least you get to sleep through the night," or "I wish it would have taken us longer to get pregnant...you should just have fun trying!" or "Are you putting a pillow under your hips? That'll do the trick!"
It stings when I hear stuff like that, but I don't blame people. I know I've been a deer too...deer in the headlights, really. When someone drops something heavy on you it can take you by surprise. Sometimes trying to provide a positive spin in that situation seems like the helpful thing to do, but trust me...my self-talk can come up with all the "At leasts..." in the world.
Ever heard the saying, "the best thing I can do for my friend is be his friend," or something like that? Well, I get it. Now more than ever. And I just want to say thank you to all my friends who have just been my friends...it really means more than you know!
I'm constantly telling people the very best thing they can do to reach out to people struggling, especially with infertility, is to "meet them in the suck" to not say they understand when they have NO idea, or to say they KNOW it is going to happen soon, or to give unsolicited advice(hello 'stop trying' and ' put a pillow under your tush'!!) simply, and I do mean simply, meet them right where they are- in the midst of the suck. So, fellow infertility worrior, tonight I meet you right in the suck of your situation and I hope many of your other friends do too!
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